“Do you love me for myself or for my contingent external features?” presents a false choice, since you can never fall in love with “what I am in myself”: what I am in myself is a void filled in precisely by the reflection of my “contingent external features”

Absolute Recoil: Towards A New Foundation Of Dialectical Materialism by Zizek, Slavoj
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JNPFC6A

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